I have recently come to realize that owning a dog like Crash means learning to accept certain things. Here is a list of my top 10.
10. It means knowing every time you give him a bath he will go directly to the nearest skunk carcass and delightedly roll in it at the first opportunity.
09. It means realizing that it is actually your fault he woke you up at 2 am by trying to kill the new kitty on the front porch, because you were the one who brought the kitty home in the first place.
08. It means constantly having to explain to people that he really is a purebred dog, and no we don't groom him to look like that - he comes by it naturally.
07. It means knowing your horses are going to be practically "bomb proof", because he is sure to flush every pheasant within 10 square miles directly under their noses when you take him trail riding.
06. It means knowing you have the best nap-time buddy ever, because sleeping in bed with mom rates right up there with rolling in dead skunks.
05. It means knowing you really do have great neighbors when all they do is laugh when he wakes them up at 2 am by scratching at their door to be let in.
04. It means knowing your blood pressure is going to be off the charts every time you call him and his response is to immediately turn around and look at you (you can actually see the wheels turning) and when he comes to the conclusion that you are too far away to do anything, he goes back to doing what ever he was doing in the first place.
03. It means when you do finally catch up to him he will become the most sincerely apologetic and pathetic dog, begging forgiveness by crawling on his belly toward you with his tail wagging and then finally rolling over on his back - making it impossible to stay angry.
02. It means when you wake up in the morning to find his face is twice its normal size and his resemblance to the Elephant Man is quite striking, that once again you are thankful that you work at a vet clinic, otherwise you would be in serious debt due to all the x-rays, stitches, porcupine quill removals, and medications that he has required - just this summer.
01. It means despite all of this you can't help but love him, because he is just so darn cute. I just hope he knows how lucky he is!
10. It means knowing every time you give him a bath he will go directly to the nearest skunk carcass and delightedly roll in it at the first opportunity.
09. It means realizing that it is actually your fault he woke you up at 2 am by trying to kill the new kitty on the front porch, because you were the one who brought the kitty home in the first place.
08. It means constantly having to explain to people that he really is a purebred dog, and no we don't groom him to look like that - he comes by it naturally.
07. It means knowing your horses are going to be practically "bomb proof", because he is sure to flush every pheasant within 10 square miles directly under their noses when you take him trail riding.
06. It means knowing you have the best nap-time buddy ever, because sleeping in bed with mom rates right up there with rolling in dead skunks.
05. It means knowing you really do have great neighbors when all they do is laugh when he wakes them up at 2 am by scratching at their door to be let in.
04. It means knowing your blood pressure is going to be off the charts every time you call him and his response is to immediately turn around and look at you (you can actually see the wheels turning) and when he comes to the conclusion that you are too far away to do anything, he goes back to doing what ever he was doing in the first place.
03. It means when you do finally catch up to him he will become the most sincerely apologetic and pathetic dog, begging forgiveness by crawling on his belly toward you with his tail wagging and then finally rolling over on his back - making it impossible to stay angry.
02. It means when you wake up in the morning to find his face is twice its normal size and his resemblance to the Elephant Man is quite striking, that once again you are thankful that you work at a vet clinic, otherwise you would be in serious debt due to all the x-rays, stitches, porcupine quill removals, and medications that he has required - just this summer.
01. It means despite all of this you can't help but love him, because he is just so darn cute. I just hope he knows how lucky he is!
4 comments:
that is hysterical. was crash the one who drank the now empty bottle of wine on the table? :)
Oh Allison, that is hilarious. I'm glad I am not the only one with problems with a purebreed. Like no cute flowers in the backyard because they are her snack. To funny!!
That really is the best top ten of anything I have ever read!!
Sure did put a smile on my face!!
hugs,
Carla
I do love crash!! I remember when I was his babysitter when he was just teeny tiny!!!
that top 10 was great!!
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